Thoughts from a Bald Man

I might need a 12 step program.  No, not for alcohol, drugs, gambling, or any of the traditional vices; I’m beginning to become addicted to Guitar Hero, one of my Christmas presents from my wife.  Ironically, it is she who is telling me that I’m addicted and in need of help.

I’ve never been a real gamer.  I played a little Duck Hunt, Pit Fall, and Donkey Kong when I was a kid (am I dating myself here) but I was much happier playing outside, creating my own adventures.  In high school I moved on to Sonic, Road Rash, and John Madden but I was never as good as any of my friends.  This makes them LOVE to play against me but holds no real interest for me (“Sure, hit me again.  I like it!”)

Then came Tiger Woods.  I played my friends TW game from like 2002 (of course, he was better than me) but was hooked.  Last year I convinced my wife to get me a PS2, telling her “Don’t worry, I’m not much of a gamer.”  I tried a couple other games but kept coming back to TW08 – my true love.  Until this year when I got Guitar Hero.

I’ve already made it through the Aerosmith game on easy and am getting ready to move up to medium.  I also got World Tour (minus the drums and mic) and am working on getting ready for the move to medium on that as well.  I’m having so much fun and my fingers are getting a workout.

My hope is that my friend who is a gamer, we’ll call him “Jerry,” hasn’t played it much and I can get to the point that I can destroy him when he comes over to play Guitar Hero.  It will make up for all those years he used to smash me over the head with his club when we were playing Road Rash.

And isn’t that the true meaning of Christmas?

The down turn in the economy as well the horrid cold snap that has hit the US over the past few weeks has kept shoppers out of the stores.  Retailers are hoping to make the day after Christmas as big a shopping day as Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, reports a recent article form USA Today .

But the weather in Southwest Michigan isn’t helping retailers grab the after-Christmas shoppers.  A sheer coating of ice covered most of Southwest Michigan this morning causing lots of accidents and spin outs.  I got to witness this almost first hand when I made an early morning run for milk.  Ok, I’ll be honest – I was after espresso so I could try out my new espresso maker I got yesterday for Christmas.

The thing that confused me was this one guy in the grocery store relating his early morning adventure.  “I was going 30 miles an hour coming down the hill toward the intersection,” he said with much gusto, “and decided I should start braking.  Then I started spinning and almost hit a power pole.”

You sir, will get my nomination for a Darwin Award .  May you win BEFORE you die!

The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) is again this year tracking Santa’s flight across the earth.  At the risk of sounding like a total Scrooge, I must say I’m having quite a hard time justifying this in my mind.

NORAD came into existence in the late 1950’s at a time when there was much fear over an attack of ICBMs (not to be confused with IBMs which wouldn’t lay siege to the US for another 20 years or so).  The missile defense organization is a joint operation between the U.S. and Canada, on a scale not seen since the cast of SCTV joined Saturday Night Live .

But every year on Christmas Eve NORAD shifts its entire resources into tracking Santa in his flight across the globe.  If the military is looking for suggestions on how they can be of assistance in propagating other myths and legends I suggest the Navy SEALS be brought in to look for the Loch Ness Monster while the Army Rangers can look for Bigfoot.

Now that I’ve got that out of my system, Merry Christmas everyone!

Two days left till Christmas; one till my wife’s family arrives.  There is still a lot left on my list of things to do.  Not the least of which is still buying my wife a present.  Most women are easy to buy for, simply get some diamond jewelry and you can pretty much coast buy with stupid little filler gifts (“He went to Jared!  He went to Jared?  He went to Jared!!!)  But my wife isn’t big on the whole jewelry thing and that limits me greatly.

Her dislike of jewelry is more from my wife’s wonderful vein of practicality (why spend that much money on a necklace), but yet practical gifts don’t work well either (here Honey, pots and pans).  So every year I beat my head in trying to come up with the perfect gift for the woman who doesn’t like jewelry.  I’d love some ideas but make it snappy.  I’ve got two days left!

Here’s a bit of irony for you.  Yesterday my heat pump intake valve decided to clog up on what was the coldest day in Michigan so far this winter (yes I know that technically winter started just yesterday but I think winter in Michigan officially starts in September).  When I went out after 7:30 last night the temperature was -2 with a wind chill somewhere around 10 below zero.

It was warmer today (it’s a toasty 4 right now) but I’m still dreading the trip outside tonight to see if it’s clogged again.  The only other alternative is that our heat pump is going bad.  Not like I have anything else to do with my money this month.